Quickie: Hooray for Britney's...

... New weave hair!

That conservatorship & her agent/BF Jason Trawick seem to be doing wonders for her hygiene wellbeing appearance.  

Well done both Js'...  Papa Jamie & Jason!

'As promised, Gaga AGAIN

We know...

Oh Peter... You 'dark horse'!

Not wanting to be a member of either 'Team Kate' or 'Team Andre' but Peter Andre may have been pretending all this time saying he was all alone and heartbroken. Dude had time to have a secret 3 month fling with some busty blonde. Celibate our a**!

According to the U.K's NOTW, in between his 'woe is me', 'I'm a great father' 8 days after his divorce, he 'swept' ex-model, Maddy Ford, off her feet. Peter? You Dawg!

Maddy tells the tabloid:

"Pete blew me away in bed, Every second I was with him, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. His body was incredible and he was so affectionate. I know Jordan once claimed his manhood was the size of an acorn but that is categorically not true. Peter was perfect in every way. But he always liked to be the submissive one. I always wanted him to take charge but he preferred it when I did. He liked me to be rough with him."

Sorry we should have written this first 'ONLY THOSE WITH STRONG STOMACHS SHOULD READ ON'. 'Swear we just tasted some vomit! Oh she continues:

"I felt really nervous about sleeping with him because Katie Price comes across as such a sexual person. I thought she was probably an animal in bed. But Pete told me, 'It's all an act. She's not like that at all'. He told me I had the best body he had ever seen and that my breasts and bum were perfect. He made me feel good. I didn't want to have any secrets or surprises. So I told him I'd once had a fling with Orlando Bloom.

"I had no idea how Peter was going to react - but he just laughed and told me: 'Don't worry, honey. That doesn't worry me at all."

"One of his favourite things was to smear me all over with Coco De Mer edible chocolate body oil and then lick it slowly off - and then to have me do the same to him back again. That was a treat we never tired of. Every time we made love, he liked to put on Sade's The Love Album in the background. Pete was incredibly romantic like that. He'd do things like light all the candles round his bath before we'd make love - but while we'd share the bath, we always retired to his bed for sex. He was obsessed with cleanliness. "Every time we were about to have sex, he'd run off to have a shower.

"I did try to stop myself falling so hard for him. I knew I was on a massive rollercoaster ride but I just didn't want to get off. I wondered if I was being foolish falling in love with him. But who wouldn't have fallen in love with him?"

Peter has since confirmed this 'Eughness' happened saying:

"Yes it's true. I was intimate with Maddy on a handful of occasions. We both went into it with our eyes open, and let's just say I certainly know how to pick 'em! I always said that I would only talk about a new relationship if it was a serious one and as far as I'm concerned this was not serious.

"I have tried in my heart to do everything in the right way. I waited until I was divorced before I considered moving on. I have never been intimate with anyone in front of my children, apart from their mother to this day. I remained faithful to my ex-wife throughout our marriage until I was divorced. As far as I am concerned I am a single guy without a girlfriend."

We too are off to have a really LONG shower! P.S:- Can't wait to hear what Katie Price has to say about this one.

Watch out Ladies...

... Man-whore Olivier Martinez (ex to Kylie Minogue, Angie Jolie, Mira Sorvino, Michelle Rodriguez, ... you get the picture) has split up with his latest love victim GF model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.  

Translation: He's on the prowl AGAIN of course!

The couple, who hooked up after meeting last November at the male actors hunting ground Victoria's Secret show, went their seperate ways a few weeks ago with frenemies of Rosie blabbing:

‘Rosie is putting on a brave face. She tends to move from one relationship to another fairly quickly, so I suspect she won’t be single for long. She went to Goa alone to relax and prepare for London Fashion Week.’

‘Rosie thought that it might work out, but living so far apart proved too much of an obstacle for them,’

Um, what kind of 'friend' /source says "She tends to move from one relationship to another fairly quickly, so I suspect she won’t be single for long"? Making her sound like a ho'! Um... our point is... 

Ahem, moving on... 44 year old Olivier needs to maybe start dating age-appropriate women (Rosie is 22) and plan to settle down if he doesn't want to end up the old, creepy guy lurking in the corner of nightclubs and/or other male hunting grounds. Just FYI!

Rosie on the other hand --who BTW split up with her past BF Tyrone Wood (son of Rolling Stones drunk star Ronnie) TWO weeks before shacking up with Olivier-- should maybe calm down her speed-dating if her so-called friends words are to be believed. 

She may start to get a 'reputation' and no model wants that. Or do they?

Presenting the new Conan

Jason Momoa. DILF alert... If he'd stop puffing out his chest for a minute!

Yummy Jason, married to Lenny Kravitz's sloppy seconds Lisa Bonet, is Hawaiian, 6'5" and gorge!  Anyone seen the Hawaiian version of Baywatch? How the hell did Lisa bag him?

Granted he is a pretty boy and not the ideal Arnold replacement, we weren't going to see the movie for educational purposes or enlightenment so... Can't wait!

Simon's no longer an Eternal Bachelor!

The rumors have been confirmed that Simon Cowell has indeed stopped (for like a second) staring  at & admiring his own reflection and popped THE question to his GF Mezhgan Hussainy.  

Small problem... She's started running her mouth and blabbing the exciting news before she's defo become Mrs Simon Cowell. 

According to RadarOnline!, Mezghan has confirmed that she's hit the motherload & is rich Engaged. Simon on the other hand is yet to officially confirm although his publicist, Max Clifford, said:

“They are very suited, She is someone who is independent and says what she thinks and feels, and he likes that. He's probably the happiest I have ever known him in the nine years I've been working with him."

Aw... Now tell us that doesn't just give you the cuddlies? We always knew one day Simon's legal team would have to draw up an air-tight, not-in-your-life-think-again & Iron-clad prenup... Just in case this day was to come! 

Now it has. George Clooney... Your turn next dude!

Random: Lady Gaga off-stage...

... Is the same as Lady Gaga on-stage. Here she is going arriving back to her London Hotel after a concert. Not BEFORE or DURING... AFTER!

We've decided to take a break from criticizing her publicity-seeking creations until the time comes that she wears something really 'out there'. Translation: 'Same time tomorrow?!

Nicole Kidman + those eyes of hers = Just another Accessory...

... To complete yet another unforgivable Outfit choice.

Plus, Don't get us started on those shoes...

... To team Turquoise blue with Burnt Red-Auburn --her dress not the hair-- is ?????? 

 Ironic how she chose to wear this to the 12th Annual Costume Designers Guild Awards and no designer was reported to have descended on that outfit with much Oomph! That's right... our word for the day is 'Oomph'. If you have a prob with it... Oomph yourself.

Sidey: Surely her divorce from ex Tom (Cruise) left her with enough money to hire a forceful (& sober) stylist.  Oh, forgot... She does have a demanding career these days. 'Being Married to Keith Urban is no easy job!

Avril & Deryck rekindling the love?

Kinda looked like it as Deryck was Avril's plus one for the 'Alice in Wonderland' Royal London premiere. So... does this mean the  formerly married pair really have a "remaining friendship"?

Em P.S:- what is her connection to the movie? Randooooom

Hey at least the rumors of her hooking up with man-whores-about-town Wilmer Valderama et Brody Jenner are untrue. Thankfully!

Either way, Let's hope these two crazy kids work out their On/Off status and have a positive result... ala Pink & Carey Hart.

'Toes crossed! BTW, she combed her hair (well... sort of) for the premiere which utterly shocked us... but again we digress.

Reese and THAT guy again!

Memba the rebound story we posted about how Reese Witherspoon may no longer be a Single Lady?

It may just be true. She and CAA agent/Ladies man Jim so-what-he-has-a-last-name went on another date!

Aw... She does look so happy.

'Not wanting to sound superficial and/or mean but Jim also looks like a Chin-heavyweight (if you catch our drift) which does not bode well for a romantic future. Not to mention potential kiddies/their gene pool combination!

She dodged that bullet in the past having lush Ryan Phillippe as her ex babydaddy... Tempting fate AGAIN will be wishful thinking. Just by the by Reese hun, Loving her either way!

Lost star Matthew a Cheating husband too?

OMGeeeee! Say it ain't so!! What ze eff!!!

Various reports have it on good authority --Um... that is if the 'Enquirer & InTouch are to be believed-- that Matthew Fox has done a 'Tiger Special' and cheated on his wife. Not him too?!

According to random whore-by-day-stripper-by-night Stefani Talbott, Fox had a brief hookupy-affair with her. This despite her 'classy' work establishment having strict rules of no hanky-panky with paying customers but we digress... 

She said:

“I was dancing onstage, and I made eye contact with him immediately. I got so excited. 

He asked me, ‘Why are you working in a place like this?’ I told him that I am a single mom and needed the money.

We sat around and talked about his show. He complimented me and was saying how down-to-earth I am. He told me he was going to be in town for a couple of days, He didn’t tell me to keep it a secret or anything. He didn’t even use protection. He didn’t seem concerned at all”

She also claims to have saved the incriminating texts and voicemails! Sweet mother of... Biyatch sounds like a thorough customer. Anyhoo, Matthew is saying 'Hell-No' with his rep saying:

“These accusations are false”

That's it? No 'We are sooooo suing for defamation of character' & other good scary-litigation lingo as well? 

Hmmm... Not that we don't believe the dancing stripper but We'll have to err on the side of caution/wait and listen & see the 'incriminating evidence' for ourselves before we pass judgement.

Matt's wife of 18 years, Margherita Ronchi, on the other hand had better be giving him the side-eye-you-better-start-talking-or-else speech. Just for her insurance... We all saw how the shocker that was Tiger Woods' scandal has played out!

BTW, we kinda crushed on him during his Party Of Five days so we'd also be super bummed (like poor Margherita) if this turns out to be true.

Ryan Phillipe is a single man / free!

Great news... Ever since we got reminded of how Hawt Ryan still is, Now comes the news that he's split up with alleged homewrecker GF Abbie Cornish.

Oh wait, it gets better, there sounds like some animosity might be brewing between them. Hearting the drama!

Well... according to Abbie's 'person':

"Abbie ended the relationship with Ryan and she moved out of their home,"

But hang on, Ryan's own 'person' is trying to "claim it" saying:

"Ryan ended the relationship and asked her to move out of his house."

Give us a 'D'... 'R'... an 'A'...

So who threw who out? Why? Was there cheating? If so, Who did who behind who's back?

Plus, Do they have the same 'person' 'cause it sure sounds like it?! Can Abbie even have her own 'person' because she's like done nothing major? Anyhoo, Finally a bonafide DILF to place on our list.

J-Love turns 31 & appears to have Lost her Fashion mind!

This was meant to be harmless 'Dress Up' fun but it looks like a sad pic of 31 year-old has-been-actress Jennifer Love Hewitt trying to remain relevant.

Her having a not-so cute fiance (Jamie Kennedy) and so-s0 T.V show sadly hasn't helped thus far!

Hey at least she's covered up this time... Remember/ still trying to erase that sight?

HELLO manners?! Um, Congrats Jen & best wishes!

This is not a flattering angle...

... For ANYONE even Jennifer Lopez.

Sorry... meamt to say ANGLES:

Yikesy!

Don't know why but the words 'HIP', 'PY' & 'PO' keep coming to our mind... Hmm... Trying to wonder why

Quickie: What kind of Fuggery is this?

Why, Oh why, Jared Leto insists on ruining his gorgeousness is beyond us!

He's now trying this look:

Back to the drawing board eh Jared? Love him still... Those blue eyes... Yum, yum.

Nicole's back with Lewis!

Can we get a Yawn please?

Nicole Scherzinger has gotten back with ex Lewis Hamilton a mere month after they split. Guessing all the sending of Love songs, Poem writing and old fashioned wailing & begging (we'll leave to your imagination whom we're referring to) paid off!

Some snitch spoke about the reunion saying:

'They took a tough decision and both regretted calling it off almost immediately,'

FYI, anyone remotely interested, Nicole has also been slapping everyone in her path with hints of a possible wedding. When someone pretended to show some interest (during one of her shopping trips recently) and asked her if she had anything in particular, she said:

'This year - my wedding dress.'

Wow... Desperate/Presuming much?! She seems pretty sure she'll be married before her career ends in 5, 4, 3 she becomes 30. Best of luck and hope she sees this one through!

Guess which Twilight Hottie is coming off our "List"?

Thankfully it isn't our boo Kellan Lutz.

Sorry Twilight addicts, & Edward lovers, Rob Rattinson & 'Her' aka Kristen Stewart are a couple...... HE did the confirming!

Speaking to British paper The Sun greasy-looking hearthrob Rob said:

'It is extremely difficult but we are together, yes.

'We can't arrive at the same time because of the fans. It goes crazy. This was supposed to be a public appearance as a couple but it's impossible. We are here together and it's a public event but it's not easy.

'We have to do all this stuff to avoid attention.'

Like Duh!

This has been the worst 'Are they or Aren't they' crap... We never thought he was anything spesh so whatevs. So long as Kellan remains single 'til our wedding day...

Best of Cheaters

Drama... mark 1:31 "She's helping me with my intimacy issues" is classic!

Watch:

Trashy T.V (thanks for the tip Jason) is a damn shame... Dontcha wish we had a Celeb version of Cheaters caught in the act? Hmmm

Pic of the day: Tiger golfing... So staged!

What do you get when you add cheating, lying husband & father Tiger Woods, a Golf course and a Getty photographer? 

Um, These 'accidental' shots of him in his element:

Click on the gallery if you want to get angrier by the nerve of the guy! 

BTW what he has to smile about escapes us... he will henceforth be known as a  morally bankrupt & dumb Cheat who got caught, with over 12 different & ugly Skanks.

So we'll ask again... WHAT IS SO AMUSING Cheetah TIGER? We are not saying he should be crying but... No smiley!

Mischa's new retro look & Hair

Discuss!

Now we totally commend 'experimenting' BUT White shoes with Opaque Black tights? Stylist Unforced? Yikes!

Just like to give a shout-out to Ben & Jennifer!

Kudos to Über adorable --and non-publicity ho's-- Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are such an adorable couple who have 2 cute kids (Seraphina & Violet) and who have alos maintained a Scandal-free marriage.

P.S: 'Glad to see he's recovered from ever dating J-Lo and committing the sin that was 'Gigli' too!

Aw... Some Lessons can be learnt from these two on how to juggle the A-Lister career with raising children away from the glare of publicity and doing so without the need for a nanny. Or 2!

'Also admire that special gift that Jen has... In the daytime, Well Hello "Casual-Mum-Chic" but at night/for the Red carpet... She brings it!

Who's that for Ryan?

So we here at splits H.Q. saw a couple of random photos of our man-crush Ryan Gosling, on Valentine's Day, arriving at Chateau Marmont. 'Seemed unusual and totally innocent. 

Just the regular Celeb 'Leave me alone you crazy papz' right? Eh, WRONG!

A zoom OUT...

... has revealed some evidence pointing to the fact he may no longer be a single & gorgeous man--after splitting with on-off GF Rachel McAdams-- Tear, Sniff-sniff! Loved those two as a couple BTW

Well... Who were the heart-themed balloons for? Was it for his 'Blue Valentine' co-star and rumored hookup Michelle Williams (hope not, he can do sooooo much better than her) or was it for the main woman in his life, Mummy?

Hope it's the last option OR some incredible hottie that equals his yumminess... but Michelle?

A couple that dresses / sponsors together...

... Stay together/agree to work on their failing marriage?

Um, THIS does not look like the picture of a wronged wife who has --OR will-- give her cheating a** of a husband (one Mr Tiger Woods) his marching orders. 'All decked out in Tiger's biggest sponsors Nike's clothing... even down to a horrid bandana-hair accessory!

Plus it may be us reading too much into this but why would Elin choose to wear sports gear when NOT in the gym or during a workout.

And by 'workout', we mean chasing Tiger back to his Sex-Addicts Anonymous rehab! Kidding... Or are we?

Shakira + Nadal + Music video = 'Getting hot in here!

"Ai papi"! 

Here's a teaser:

Breathe easy people... There is no off-screen hookup to report (thankfully) Shakira is engaged to her forever BF Antonio de la Rúa --looks like true love-- and Rafael's childhood sweetheart, Maria Francisca Perello, is still clinging on with the Tennis star.

Open postie: Aw Maria, Maria... Don't feel threatened that the hottest Latina on the planet chose your man to be her toyboy leading man in her sizzly new vid. Um, on second thoughts...

Tiger resurfaces

Finally!

Shamed Idiot of the year adulterer Tiger Woods has been photographed, for the first time since 'the numerous indiscretions', jogging. Oh and FYI, he wasn't wearing his wedding band... well so he shouldn't given his morally bankrupt behavior!

Hey at least Elin is not running behind him swinging a golf club. Small mercies!

This was posted on his official website:

"While Tiger feels that what happened is fundamentally a matter between him and his wife, he also recognizes that he has hurt and let down a lot of other people who were close to him. He also let down his fans. He wants to begin the process of making amends, and that's what he's going to discuss."

He is also due to have a PGA press conf. today to 'publicly apologize'... We are on it like white on rice. Or like Tiger-on-random-Skanks within one mile radius!

Jessica does a pointless interview!

With no singing or acting Career to speak of lately, Jessica Simpson still feels the need to remain relevant by 'opening up' about her past failed relationships and other not-so-important stuff. In her defense, she does still give good Face!

Allure's latest covergirl and John Mayer's sexual napalm Jess said in the interview:

On turning 30:

"I never really thought, growing up, what am I gonna be like when I'm 30? I just kind of thought I had it figured out: I'm going to be this great pop star, have my songs on the radio, be married, and have babies. . . But things can be taken away from you. A song can not be played on the radio. An album can not work."

On her weight gain issues:

"I would not wish on my worst enemy what I went through."

On on-screen nudity:

"I will never do nudity . . . I don't care if I frickin' could get an Oscar for it, I'm not going to do it. Those accolades mean nothing to me. I don't think people deserve to see what's under my clothing. That's only for my next husband--ha-ha-ha."

On John Mayer:

"He didn't make me go brunette! John doesn't get credit for making me brunette. He'd like to think so, but he doesn't deserve the credit."

On Tony Romo:

"I'm still a fan. I'm a huge fan. I wear my gear, and I cheer Tony on. You know, I talked to Tony today. None of my breakups, none of it's been bitter."

Then on her next husband/who she'd LTM:

"an artistic man…It will show you the colors of my character, the person that I fall in love with next. I don't even have a type! I don’t have a physical type. I have an emotional type."

Aw, poor Jessica... she does sound worn out from her past douche boyfriend choices. Also, a woman saying "I don't even have a type! I don’t have a physical type. I have an emotional type" is just a recipe for Ugly-man disaster. Just by the by! 

Hope she snaps out of it, lose the little excess weight (the above pic is soooo photoshopped) and try attracting a man who is both good-looking & trustworthy. It goes without saying that 'Him' possessing a Mouth Diarrhoea-Less quality is a must too!

Our Daily Mmmm...

... Is the teaser for the Calvin Klein Ad which is both Hawt & X-Rated disturbing.

ENJOY:

Oh Kellan... Yum-Lush!

Lady Gaga + Awards outfit = Gagalicious DON'T

What kind of Attention seeking muthafu.......

.... Nah, 'too easy!

Random Advice...

... Dude's NUGGET FOR TODAY.

TO SHARE AND TO LISTEN.

Many who thrive in a healthy friendship swear by high heavens that perhaps the cheapest and yet most efficient way to make and keep a good friend on the one hand, and then to be and be kept as a good friend on the other hand, is to give a little more than ample attention to the finer details.

In friendship, we find that the success earned from sharing the smaller, nearly insignificant details of our lives with a friend gives them the feeling that they are part and parcel of our existence. And when we’re able to listen dutifully, asking the right questions when needed, to the “nearly insignificant” tales our friends wish to tell us about their day or their lives, we earn the rank of a faithful or loyal friend! Some who enjoy a successful marriage, for instance, will tell you that listening and sharing bits of their day-to-day activities, serves to re-enforce their affections for each other. Perhaps, this activity of “sharing and listening” works on the mental idea that “if you love me, you’d care about what concerns me”. Ask those who listen extensively, and they’ll be quick to admit that being quiet long enough to hear someone else rant about somewhat unimportant things sometimes leaves them with an urge to pull out their hairs, but they endure. And if you ask the one who seems to care enough to share his little issues with you why they ever bother, you’ll learn that in their minds, they consider you a friend!

As they say, true friendship is often hard work. To achieve the desired reward of the “perfect” best friend or lover, we must be prepared to sacrifice and to be molded extensively. Today, taking the bold decision to begin to share of ourselves with that significant other in our lives might seem enormous, but will be well worth the effort. And the willingness to listen will draw to us an unexpected followership.

Promising that we will always Share & Listen to our special 'K' and love him loads... Heard that Kellan? 

Thanks Dude 'O'

Nicole & Joel ALSO got engaged

It's about time! Nicole Richie is engaged to her BF --of like forever-- & father of her 2 adorable tots, Joel Madden. On Valentine's Day.

Life & Style confirmed the unsurprising news citing a source:

"She’s beyond thrilled and so excited to start planning her dream wedding."

Aw... Congrats/Lots of Luck! P.S:- 'Forgive them for the unoriginal V-Day engagement, Just this once.

Leo engaged to Bar?

They've gone all publico with their romance. Yes, AGAIN!

Yawning... but Leonardo DiCaprio may have semi-sealed the deal by proposing to On/Off GF Bar Refeali. Um, If seeing ex Gisele happily married with child didn't force his hand, What else would've?!

German newspaper 'Bild' is reporting that Leo asked Bar 'The Question' in the Hotel de Rome  on Valentine's Day. BTW, confusingly the hotel's not in Rome but Berlin.

Proposing on Valentine's Day? T-A-C-K-Y much?!

Moving on... They do look in Love (her more than him but details) so here's to some 'maybe' future Supermodel-turned-domesticated Hot Mama face-off! Petty you may think but Gisele is still totally watching that space. Totally!

Even Oprah can't help John Mayer!

Now you know we L-O-V-E us some drama but the mouth-infestation saga that is John Mayer has gained some sympathy from us here at splitsup.com. Some! 

Read on:

'Memba the TMI Sexist and Racist remarks he spewed? Yikesy right?! 

So his people are still trying to do damage control and wanted to book him for an Oprah special to continue apologizing for being John Mayer speaking a lot of senseless shitz in his Playboy interview. Problem is she apparently kinda said 'I'll pass ... thanks'! Whoops!!!

We've waited for the day the real douche in John would step forth and that day HAS COME. So why do we feel empty and ashamed of joining in the 'kicking a man while he's down'? 

'Reason is the only winners in this are the people at Playboy HQ... Free Publicity. That being said --we can't believe we are saying this-- maybe John has paid for his sins because is there a worse thing to happen to a man than when Oprah turns down potential skyrocketing ratings just to join in his Diss-fest?

 We think not!

4 Hotties + Calvin Klein Fashion Show = Oodles of sexiness

Our boo Kellan Lutz attended the CK Show and sat next to alleged cheater but mayjah DILF Ryan Phillipe, Chace Crawford and Jared Leto. HAWT!!!

Why Jared chose to wear his shades Indoors is not cool but we still heartey the complete picture. Also glad to see no woman near our 'K'... Such pretty men!

Cute outfit Alert: Katy Perry

Finally! 'Knew the real 'Good Fashion Taste' in her was hanging around nearby.

Now about the new grubby & borderline-slimy looking fiancé Russell Brand?

If only there was some magic way to turn back decisions time! Isn't that right Katy?

Shakira, Shakira...

Shakira! Hawt Dang girl.

Not too crazy about the 2nd outfit but still, This is one 'Hips don't Lie' sexy lady! It is poss for us to Love, Envy, Hate, Girl-Crush, Question why her then Jealous-Hate again all at the same time right?